I once was in a special, high-pressure program in graduate school, and my best friend in it was a quiet, soft-spoken young man who later went on to work for a national magazine in Japan.
He was brilliant, funny, and had a Japanese wife and a young son. Some years later, I got a letter from my friend, who wrote to tell me that he had realized he was actually a she; a woman trapped in the wrong body, and that she was going to have gender reassignment surgery.
I was smart enough to be totally accepting, but naïve enough that I asked why she just didn’t live as a woman without the surgery, which sounded both painful; and expensive. She told me she thought she would have to kill herself if she was unable to live in a woman’s body.
We haven’t been in touch in years, due mainly to moving and losing addresses, but I hope she is well, fulfilled and happy. I know now that one doesn’t “choose” the gender they identify with any more than they “choose” to be gay, or I “chose” to be not quite five feet, eight inches tall.
What I still don’t understand is why any of us think someone else’s orientation is part of anyone’s business besides their own, and perhaps their loved ones. Or why people are so profoundly disturbed by this, often to the point of violence, even homicidal rages.
I am aware that some people think being transgender, or gay, is a sin, and quote the Bible to back this up. Well, we have religious freedom in this country, thanks to what many consider our God-given constitution. But even leaving that aside, you can use the Bible to justify just about anything on any side of any issue. Again, even leaving that aside, the Bible doesn’t say that sexual sins – or lust, as it puts it — are any worse than any of the other deadly sins.
I have never read a story about a religious maniac physically assaulting anyone for gluttony, or laziness, or envy, though a look around your neighborhood or shopping mall will show that all three seem far more prevalent than anything else.
It also seems to me that people who are comfortable with their own sexual identities and orientation are much less likely to be uncomfortable with those who are different.
Last winter I had the honor of speaking at a banquet for the Fair Michigan Foundation, which is dedicated to justice for LGBTQ people of all kinds, which to me, means justice for all of us. Fair Michigan is supported by Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy, and its president is Dana Nessel, the Democratic nominee for attorney general, so they have some reason to hope for a better future. I am not an expert on human sexuality, and am even less so on religion.
But I do know that the transgender folks I’ve known have been decent, if long-suffering, human beings. And Jesus of the Bible is supposed to have said “whatever you do unto the least of these, you also do unto me,” meaning we should treat every life as equally sacred.
Whether we are religious or not, that seems good enough for me.
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